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| "Visitor": A Paragraph Per Day | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 29 2016, 11:35 PM (1,859 Views) | |
| jlsjlsjls | Mar 29 2016, 11:35 PM Post #1 |
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I found and checked that first ten pages preview, just to make sure we were ... ahem ... on the same page regarding what constituted the first ten pages. As the preview ends mid-sentence, halfway through a paragraph, I'll kick off with that poor truncated paragraph in full followed by the next: What the kyo had done at Reunion--he had seen that, too. That was war the way the kyo fought, which was a lot worse than artillery and mortars. He had seen the result, which had not even looked real, it was so terrible. His guests' parents had lived through it. Bjorn had been alive when that had happened, but Bjorn said he only remembered the dark--he had been scared of the dark ever after, though he tried not to admit it. Irene had been a baby when it happened. Gene and Artur were born after. But very many people had died. Thousands. And the kyo had done it. Because, nand' Bren said, of a misunderstanding. That was a very scary thought. It was hard not to have misunderstandings with people who did not speak the same language. The misunderstandings that had caused the War of the Landing were the examples everybody used. And that had killed very many people, before they had thrown the big weapons into the sea. Edited to add a P.S.: I really DO know enough to capitalize a book title and I swear I hit shift when I typed that initial "V" in the topic line. I'm blaming the keyboard, which is always seeking vengeance for some imagined wrong or other. |
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| jlsjlsjls | Mar 30 2016, 11:58 PM Post #2 |
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Well, they just had to make certain that no misunderstanding happened. That was why he and mani had come up here with nand' Bren, because back at Reunion, he and mani had been able to help nand' Bren to talk to nand' Prakuyo, which had helped make peace and get everyone safely off Reunion. |
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| Xheralt | Mar 31 2016, 03:55 AM Post #3 |
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It's not your fault. Along with whatever other sanity-checking the underlying board scripts do to titles, they also enforce strict capitalization rules. ONLY the first letter is "allowed" to be capitalized, all other letters are forced to lowercase, whether they were typed that way or not. So, if you typed something like Magic: The Gathering as a subject line, it would be displayed as Magic: the gathering. Aggravating sometimes, bit not so annoying to register a complaint and ask the board tech support to fix...rethinking that now. |
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| jlsjlsjls | Mar 31 2016, 04:10 AM Post #4 |
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Ah. Programming by illiterates. Well, as long as I get to blame something electronic I'm happy. :atwink I have a wireless keyboard that does go through occasional short cycles of ignore-the-keystrokes so I'd figured that was the most likely culprit. |
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| Neco the Nightwraith | Mar 31 2016, 02:07 PM Post #5 |
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Living the Right Life
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So begins "the long wait". It always takes forever for new books to arrive. :knife: |
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| hrhspence | Mar 31 2016, 02:37 PM Post #6 |
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Hani Assassin
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(I fixed the capitalization and pinned your topic as well.) |
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| Busifer | Mar 31 2016, 05:19 PM Post #7 |
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Hello, all. As some of you know I have recieved my copy of Visitor. Sadly I will not be able to share those first paragraphs (that follow these). I am swamped by work at the moment and feel pretty wrung out at the end of each day. Maybe I'll get to it during the weekend but right now I feel too drained to dare a promise. I hope you understand. |
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| jlsjlsjls | Mar 31 2016, 11:35 PM Post #8 |
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There was a very good chance it would be nand' Prakuyo on that ship out there. But whoever it was, they had very quickly arranged to come up here, and now that Tillington was out and Braddock was locked up, that ship out there was going to be mani's concern--the kyo, and the fact that the kyo could blow up the space station if they said the wrong thing. So his having an unescorted girl for a guest in his rooms last night was a very minor problem, and mani would probably not distract herself to consider it, on a morning when they were about to get a new human stationmaster, and finally get to concentrate on the reason they had come up here in the first place. |
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| jlsjlsjls | Mar 31 2016, 11:40 PM Post #9 |
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And gave me a panicked "it disappeared!" moment when I came in to post today's paragraph ...LOL!!! Thanks for doing that (the fixing and pinning, not the panic). Can't even blame my keyboard for my "moment" but I suppose I can put it on trying to do two days worth of work today so that I could take tomorrow off (which means you all get a much earlier paragraph tomorrow instead of having to wait for mountain quitting time) |
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| jlsjlsjls | Apr 1 2016, 02:48 PM Post #10 |
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Oh, do have two today ... they're small and hardly any calories :atwink He did not want to lay a problem on mani's plate first thing in the morning. That was never a good way to start an explanation. Maybe he should order breakfast for just him and Irene and his aishid, and not explain anything. Yesterday had been stressful, even if it had had a happy ending, and mani might want to rest. |
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| Eupathic Impulse | Apr 1 2016, 07:56 PM Post #11 |
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Senior Bujavid Security
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That implies that Cajeiri is going to be in trouble, since he thinks he won't get into trouble. |
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| jlsjlsjls | Apr 2 2016, 02:14 PM Post #12 |
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That also meant he had to keep all the human guests very quiet and not pose even the slightest problem for mani or nand' Bren while they dealt with the kyo. That was his job as much as it was Lord Geigi's, and he was trying to do just that: keeping the presence of his guests quiet, so they could both rescue his guests from the Reunioner situation, and not have trouble with the Mospheirans, and keep the kyo peaceful and happy all at once. It would all work out. It had to. And thus endeth the first chapter. Tune in tomorrow for the first paragraph of chapter 2! |
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| jlsjlsjls | Apr 3 2016, 01:38 PM Post #13 |
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First paragraph of chapter 2 and back to Bren's POV ... The lift doors opened, exhaling cold fog around the arrivals--a short, bundled figure, Gin Kroger, foremost of the five. Gin was first out of her cold suit. She dropped it in the designated place by the lift, and left her escort, walking forward to offer a hand. |
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| jlsjlsjls | Apr 3 2016, 01:42 PM Post #14 |
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That's always part of the fun, no? ... will or won't Cajeiri get in trouble for whatever he has thought was a good idea? :atwink |
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| jlsjlsjls | Apr 4 2016, 12:39 PM Post #15 |
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"Gin," Bren said. "Good to see you." The bow was almost instinctive by now, but he reached out to shake an ice cold hand. It might have been a hug, except for witnesses and dignity. Their association had been that of fellow travelers, colleagues, allies on two years of voyage and two hellish crises in the middle. "Hot drink and a sit-down?" |
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